Everybody Hates Hugo transcript
Episode 4 - Written by: Adam Horowitz & Edward Kitsis Directed by: Alan Taylor -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Act 1 needle lands on a record. Hurley is in the food storage area eating candy, chips, cereal, a steak, and ice cream. Suddenly Jin appears. JIN: Hi there, Hurley. HURLEY: Jin, you're here. JIN: I sure am. HURLEY: Dude, you speak English. JIN: No, you're speaking Korean. HURLEY: 나? I am? stands and suddenly there is a chicken-mascot-man standing next to Jin. HURLEY: 저 친구 여기서 뭐하는거야? What's he doing here? start hearing the countdown "blip" sound. JIN: Everything's going to change. HURLEY: 뭐? What? JIN: Everything's going to change. Have a cluckity-cluck-cluck day, Hugo. chicken-mascot-man says "Hurley" in Kate's voice. KATE: Hurley! wakes up and we see 3:44 on the timer. KATE: You fell asleep? HURLEY: No, I was just -- resting my eyes. KATE: a post-it on the computer monitor The Numbers are written right there. HURLEY: Yeah, I remember the Numbers. starts entering the Numbers. KATE: Locke went back to the beach. So, I'll be taking the next shift. HURLEY: Awesome. KATE: Jack told me about your job. At least we have jobs again, right? HURLEY: Hurray for us. presses the execute button and the counter resets to 108:00. ---- Michael and Jin in the dug-out prison. SAWYER: Ain't life grand. What I wouldn't give for a cup of water right now. JIN: 나를 올려 줘. 어서! 포기 하지 마! motions to Sawyer to lift him up again. SAWYER: No way. No more human pyramids -- just forget it. MICHAEL: yelling Hey. Hey! Hey, let us out of here! SAWYER: No. Just -- chill! MICHAEL: Every minute I spend down here is another minute my boy is still out there. SAWYER: Well, let me break it down for you, Mikey. Right now, Rambina and her buddies are trying to figure out what to do with us. Until they make up their damn mind there ain't nothing we can do. JIN: to Sawyer's shoulder. 어깨에 상처가 아주 심해보여. SAWYER: Ah, yeah. Why don't you pee on it? cover is lifted from the pit and a rope is dropped down. LEADER: a rope and pointing to Jin Grab the rope. Please. SAWYER: Don't do it. ANA LUCIA: with a gun Climb the rope or I shoot your friend. goes up the rope. ANA LUCIA: Michael You next. SAWYER: Don't do it. She's bluffing. The gun's only got one bullet. She ain't going to waste it- gets hit in the head with a rock and goes down. SAWYER: Ow, son-of-a-bitch. Ow, God. ANA LUCIA: Michael Grab the rope. climbs up the rope. SAWYER: You want me, Hotlips, you're going to have to come down here and get me -- cover closes and the screen goes to black -- bitch. Act 2 - Hurley standing with the winning lotto ticket in his hand, watching the TV showing his winning numbers. MARY JO: 4, 8, 15, 16, and 23, with the mega number 42. Whoever has those numbers has won, or will share in, a near record jackpot. LOTTO OFFICIAL: That's right, Mary Jo, because this is the 16th week without a winner. passes out, and Hurley's mom, Carmen, comes to check on him. CARMEN: Hugo? Hu.. Hugo! Hugo, wake up. Wake up! slaps his face, vigorously. HURLEY: Stop, ow, ow, mom, stop. I just slipped. CARMEN: Slipped sitting down? Is it your heart? HURLEY: Mom, I'm fine. CARMEN: You're lying. I always know because you don't look me in the eye. HURLEY: I'm not lying. CARMEN: Then tell me what happened, huh? folds over the lottery ticket to hide it. HURLEY: It must be something I ate. CARMEN: Yes, it must be something you ate because you eat basura, and you don't exercise. HURLEY: I do exercise. CARMEN: Falling down is not exercise. The only time you move is to lift a drumstick from the bucket. Everyday it's the same thing, Hugo -- you work, TV, chicken. You have to change your life, Hugo. You think someone else will change it for you? Maybe if you pray everyday, Jesus Christ will come down from heaven, take 200 pounds and bring you a decent woman, and a new car. Yes, Jesus can bring you a new car. HURLEY: Maybe I don't want to change. Maybe I like my life. phone rings. CARMEN: Oh, that must be Jesus. goes to another room and picks up the phone. Hola, momento. to Hurley Yes, it is Jesus! He wants to know what color car you want! ---- - Back to the Island. Hurley at the beach splashing water on his face. Charlie approaches. CHARLIE: Hurley, we need to have a little chat. Don't worry, mommy's off for a walk, so it's just you, me and the baby. Spill it. HURLEY: Spill what? CHARLIE: What's in it? HURLEY: Uh, nothing, really. CHARLIE: You've been out there an entire day and night -- looking at nothing? HURLEY: Well, I guess it's kind of like a bunker, you know, from WWII, only newer. CHARLIE: What's in it? HURLEY: I don't know. CHARLIE: But somehow you know it's a bunker? HURLEY: Well, I guess someone told me. CHARLIE: You're going to lie to me? You're going to lie to the baby? HURLEY: Dude, look, I'd never lie. CHARLIE: Oh, and the time you told you were worth 150 million dollars? HURLEY: It's 156 million. CHARLIE: I'm sorry, I must have confused it with the 900 trillion I am worth myself. And this baby's made of chocolate lollipops. So, if you'll excuse us, I'm going to flap my wings and fly off this Island! ---- doing laundry on the beach. Hurley enters. HURLEY: Hey, Rose. ROSE: Hey yourself. HURLEY: So, doing laundry, huh? ROSE: Indeed I am. You want to hand me those dirty clothes over there? hands her a suitcase. Thank you. HURLEY: Don't you want to know what happened? ROSE: What happened? HURLEY: You know, out there. Everyone's asking me what's in the Hatch. ROSE: That's your business, honey. HURLEY: Don't you want to know? ROSE: Well, whatever it is, it's not going to help get this laundry done, now is it? HURLEY: Well, actually, it sort of is. ---- and Rose walking in the jungle. HURLEY: It's around here somewhere. finds the bunker entrance and he and Rose go inside. ROSE: Someone actually lived down here? HURLEY: Uh-huh. ROSE: Oh. What -- what is it for? HURLEY: It's kind of a long story. JACK: entering Hurley? Who else did you tell? HURLEY: No one. I swear. Dude, it's a big job. I needed -- help. ROSE: Hello, Jack. JACK: Hey, Rose. HURLEY: She's cool. She won't tell anyone. ROSE: Honey, I don't even know what I would say. ---- walking along the beach. She's sees the bottle of messages from the raft wash up in the surf. Act 3 Rose and Hurley go into the food storage room. ROSE: All this is food? JACK: It's only a matter of time before we have to tell everyone what we found down here. Hurley So, do you know what to do? HURLEY: Inventory of all of it, and figure out how we make it last. JACK: And in the meantime, nobody gets anything -- no exceptions. That's your responsibility, Hurley. Okay? can hear the countdown alarm start blipping. ROSE: What's that? HURLEY: You don't want to know. and Rose doing the inventory. HURLEY: DHARMA Initiative Salad Dressing - Ranch composite. Sounds tasty. laughs. Hurley opens a box full of Apollo bars. HURLEY: Apollo bars? Ever hear of these? ROSE: Huh-uh, but candy is candy. That's what Bernard always says. Talk about a sweet-tooth. That man has a mouth full of sweet-teeth. HURLEY: Bernard, that was your husband? ROSE: Is my husband. HURLEY: Oh, but, I thought he was in the back of the plane. gives him a look. I'm sorry, I didn't mean... ROSE: Oh, no, no -- that's okay. Don't feel bad. Bernard is fine. I know it. You want to get the canned tuna? HURLEY: Everyone's going to hate me, Rose. ROSE: Now that's just plain silly. You're about the only one on this Island that everybody loves. HURLEY: Well, that'll change. KATE: Hey, you guys happen to find any shampoo in here? ROSE: Yeah, there's some right over here. HURLEY: Uh, Kate, you can't take... KATE: the shampoo Thanks, Hurley. exits. ROSE: It's just one bottle. HURLEY: That's where it starts. ---- - Hurley looking at his lotto ticket while he's at work at Mr. Clucks. Hurley's friend, Johnny, enters. JOHNNY: Hey, Hugo. You okay, man? HURLEY: the lotto ticket in his pocket Yeah, I'm fine. RANDY: boss Reyes, my office, now! goes to Randy's office. RANDY: You want to tell me something, Reyes? HURLEY: Uh, no. RANDY: You sure about that? HURLEY: Uh, yeah? RANDY: This is last night's surveillance tape. plays a tape which shows Hurley reading and eating a piece of chicken. RANDY: You owe the company for an 8 piece dark meat combo. HURLEY: I didn't eat 8 pieces! RANDY: You want to watch the whole tape? Oh, and while you're here, how many times do I get to tell you those napkins cost money, alright? It's two per customer -- two. We are not made of money here at Mr. Clucks, Reyes. I'm not made of money. Are you made of money? Because if you're made of money -- maybe you don't want to work here. So get it together. What -- is that a problem, Reyes? HURLEY: Dude, I quit. ---- is breathing into a Mr. Clucks paper bag in the parking lot outside work. Johnny comes out. HURLEY: Oh, my god. Oh, my god. JOHNNY: Dude, are you okay? HURLEY: I'm, I'm fine. JOHNNY: Randy's losing his brain in there. HURLEY: You should get back in there or he'll have you scrubbing johns for the rest of the week. JOHNNY: Doubt it. I quit, too. HURLEY: What? JOHNNY: Looks like we've got ourselves a day off. Who needs money when you've got good looks? ---- - Locke walking through the jungle. He picks some fruit up from under a tree. LOCKE: You can come out now. I saw you back at the rock, and then at the mangrove tree. In fact, I walked in a big circle. I'm not sure how you didn't realize it. comes out. CHARLIE: Alright, you don't have to insult me. LOCKE: the fruit You want to tell me why you've been following me, Charlie? CHARLIE: Yeah. Quite simply, John, there are a lot of secrets around here, and I'm tired of being at the bloody kid's table. I got Claire's baby back. I didn't go swanning off to the Black Rock on the bloody A-Team mission, but I would have if someone had asked me. I think I'm entitled to some sodding answers around here. LOCKE: What do you want to know? ---- hits a wall in the bunker with a large piece of metal, trying to break through. Jack enters. JACK: How's it going? SAYID: It's not. On the other side of this door there's more concrete. I'd say it's at least 8 to 10 feet thick. JACK: You see this? shows how his key is affected by the magnetic field. SAYID: Interesting. Good thing this to the piece of metal he's using as a pick-axe is titanium. Almost no magnetic attraction. But we're not going to get in up here. JACK: Up here? lifts up a grate in the floor and they look down. SAYID: Perhaps we can go under it. ---- "leader" guy of the tail-section group lifts the cover off the dug-out prison and throws a rope down for Sawyer. LEADER: Grab the rope. SAWYER: I ain't doing nothing 'til I know if my friends are okay. MICHAEL: into frame So, we're friends now, huh? ANA LUCIA: into frame Do it now, or the rope comes up. gets pulled up out of the pit where there is a group waiting. SAWYER: Howdy boys. Thanks for the rescue. MICHAEL: Everything's cool. We had a talk and they believe we were on the plane, too. SAWYER: Swell, I guess we can all sue Oceanic together. ANA LUCIA: Sawyer who's trying to hide that he's holding a rock What you got there? SAWYER: Nothing. ANA LUCIA: You got a rock? You looking for some revenge? You've got 3 seconds to drop it. LEADER: Ana... ANA LUCIA: 1, 2... SAWYER: Now, hold on... throws an elbow across Sawyer's face, and he falls to the ground. Leader guy holds Jin back. Ana steps on Sawyer's wounded shoulder. SAWYER: Ow, you didn't say 3. stomps on his shoulder. ANA LUCIA: Shut up. When I tell you to do something, you do it -- I say move, you move -- I say stop, you stop. I say jump, what do you say? SAWYER: You first. ANA LUCIA: his shoulder again You don't like the rules, I toss your ass back in the pit right now, you understand? SAWYER: I understand. gets up in a lot of pain. ANA LUCIA: It's getting dark, we're moving out. SAWYER: Moving out where? ANA LUCIA: What did I just tell you? SAWYER: Sorry, forgot. Just one thing, though -- you hit me again, I'll kill you. just smiles in an amused sort of way. ANA LUCIA: Let's go. and Jin wait for Sawyer. They all start walking through the jungle. Act 4 and Locke talking in the jungle. CHARLIE: He pushed that button every 108 minutes? LOCKE: He did indeed. CHARLIE: But how is that possible? I mean, didn't he sleep? LOCKE: Don't know -- didn't get a chance to ask him. CHARLIE: And after all that time, he just up and left? I mean, why? Where'd he go? LOCKE: Don't know. I tried to track him, but he didn't leave much of a trail. I guess he figured he found his replacements. CHARLIE: Meaning us? LOCKE: Meaning us. CHARLIE: It -- sounds a bit nutty, doesn't it? LOCKE: It is what it is, Charlie. CHARLIE: And what happens if we don't push it? LOCKE: We're not going to find out. I'm setting up a system. I'm still working on it, but it looks like it's going to be two person shifts every 6 hours or so. CHARLIE: Shifts? Pushing a button? LOCKE: Oh, and there's a record player. CHARLIE: What's Hurley been doing there? LOCKE: He's in charge of the food. CHARLIE: Food? ---- sitting at the beach alone. Charlie enters. CHARLIE: Hey mate? Where you been? HURLEY: Hey, I've been -- around. CHARLIE: I know, Hurley. HURLEY: You know what? CHARLIE: I know about the food. Locke told me everything. HURLEY: Yeah, well, Locke's lying. CHARLIE: Oh yeah, is he lying about the button we have to push every 108 minutes or the Island will explode? HURLEY: It's not going to explode! CHARLIE: Ah points at Hurley like: I gotcha, come on. HURLEY: Look, Jack put me in charge. Look, I don't even want... CHARLIE: Is there peanut butter? HURLEY: What? CHARLIE: Peanut butter -- nutty, creamy, staple of children everywhere. HURLEY: Uh, yeah. A couple jars. CHARLIE: Brilliant. How about you give us one? -- It's for Claire. HURLEY: No can do, man. CHARLIE: You're saying no to a nursing mother? HURLEY: It's not like that. CHARLIE: Oh, it's exactly like that. You know, I never thought this would happen but it did. You've become one of them. HURLEY: One of them? CHARLIE: Them - the man... management! I thought we were friends. You've changed, man. ---- - Hurley and Johnny in a record store looking through the sale bin. They tentatively sing the lyrics to You All Everybody while looking at the CD in the One Hit Wonders Section. JOHNNY: Drive Shaft - more like Suck Shaft. HURLEY: I'm going to go check out the headphones. JOHNNY: Sure, headphones. see a girl behind a counter smile when Hurley approaches. STARLA: Hu-go. HURLEY: Star-la. STARLA: Why aren't you chuckleheads at work? JOHNNY: We're currently exploring other opportunities. STARLA: You quit? HURLEY: I did. JOHNNY: He's mixing it up today. He's off the rail. Somebody get a straitjacket. HURLEY: at some headphones Hey, can I try those on? STARLA: You're messing with my worldview here, Hugo. You're my rock. I mean if you quit your job the next thing you know bees will stop making honey, and flowers will die, and, hell, the whole damn thing will fall apart. HURLEY: too loud because he has headphones on So, Starla! takes the headphones off Hurley. HURLEY: Sorry. Uh, well, The Hold Steady is playing the Troubadour this weekend, and I was wondering -- maybe Friday... STARLA: Um, I have to work. HURLEY: Oh, no, I didn't mean... STARLA: I could probably go Saturday. Is that cool? HURLEY: Yeah, that's totally cool. JOHNNY: they are leaving the record store Dude, you've been crushing on this girl for months and doing nothing. Today you're fricking Fabio. Seriously, man, what has gotten into you? HURLEY: Nothing, I just wanted to ask her out before... JOHNNY: Before what? HURLEY: Nothing. ---- - Sayid and Jack in tunnels under the bunker. SAYID: This is the last duct. I believe we're under the area where we began. They poured concrete all the way down here, too. starts hitting the wall with the piece of metal. SAYID: Just as thick. JACK: Maybe there's a way around it. crawl forward under what looks like pipes. JACK: What is all this stuff? SAYID: My best guess? There's a geothermal generator behind this wall. That's the power source. Careful with these pipes, they're very hot. come to the end of the tunnel. JACK: That's it -- nothing -- it's blocked. So what do you think, Sayid? SAYID: What do I think about what, Jack? JACK: This place -- the computer? What do you think is going on? SAYID: The last time I heard of concrete being poured over everything in this way was Chernobyl. hear a loud sound coming from the pipes. JACK: Did you hit something? SAYID: I don't think so. It's coming from over there. JACK: I'm going to check it out. climbs up through a grate in the floor and finds Kate getting out of the shower. JACK: Hey. KATE: Hey. JACK: You, um, you took a shower. KATE: I had to see if it worked. JACK: How was it? KATE: a towel, trying to pick up her clothes Uh, pressure sucked, it kind of went cold at one point, and it smelled a little bit like sulfur but -- it was a shower. JACK: Yeah, I know what you mean. KATE: You could use one. JACK: Maybe a little later. KATE: exiting I'll leave the shampoo for you. ---- tail-section people, plus the raft guys walking through the jungle. Someone stumbles and Michael helps her. LIBBY: I'm Libby. MICHAEL: Michael. LIBBY: How many of you -- you know, on the other side of the Island? MICHAEL: When we left, around 40. How many of you survived? LIBBY: 23 of us. LEADER: Sawyer Are you alright? SAWYER: Now you give a damn. LEADER: I said I'm sorry. It was a misunderstanding. SAWYER: A misunderstanding is when you bring me lemonade instead of iced-tea. ANA LUCIA: I said: no talking. SAWYER: He was talking to me. ANA LUCIA: in the jungle We're here. SAWYER: What are you going to do -- beam us up? knocks on the bunker door like the one on station 3. A man opens. They file inside. It doesn't appear to have any equipment or furniture in it. There is a DHARMA logo on the wall. There is only one other woman inside. MICHAEL: Libby I thought you said there were 23 of you. LIBBY: There were. Act 5 working in her garden. Claire and Shannon enter with the bottle of messages. CLAIRE: Hi, Sun. SUN: What's wrong? CLAIRE: I -- I found something out in the water, and I told Shannon about it, and we thought you should know about it. hands the bottle to Sun. It's the messages from the raft. We thought you should decide what to do. ---- looking over a rifle in the hatch armory. Hurley enters. HURLEY: Why'd you tell Charlie, man? LOCKE: Because he asked, Hugo. HURLEY: Yeah, well you shouldn't have. You should have listened to me about coming down here, period. Now it's all going to change, everything. LOCKE: Change is good, Hugo. HURLEY: You know, people say that, but it's not true, man. Trust me, I know. And guess who gets to be the bad guy who has to say: no you can't have peanut butter for the cute blonde and her poor Island baby. You know who? It's me. -- You know what? I'm not going to do it. Find someone else to deal with the chow, man. LOCKE: No, we all have our jobs, Hugo. My job is to convince people to push a button every 108 minutes without them knowing why -- or for what. Wanna trade? HURLEY: I don't want to do this, man! LOCKE: Yeah, I've had a lot of jobs I didn't want to do. I still did them. I'm sorry, Hugo, you don't get to quit. HURLEY: Okay, then. ---- walking through the jungle. He gets the leftover dynamite from a hiding place in a tree. ---- - Johnny and Hurley stealing garden gnomes. JOHNNY: Be careful. HURLEY: Dude, I am! JOHNNY: You got it? HURLEY: Yeah, I got it. JOHNNY: Alright, let's go. run to a van and place another gnome with the stash in the back of the van. JOHNNY: Do you think we got enough gnomes? HURLEY: Okay, we're good. get in the van and then are in someone else's yard. JOHNNY: This is genius. HURLEY: A little to the left, dude, and more of an angle. opens the front door of a house. RANDY: Hey! JOHNNY: Run! take off in the van and leave Randy standing in his driveway in his underwear. The camera pans to the lawn to reveal the gnomes have been used to spell out the words "Cluck You" on the lawn. JOHNNY: Cluck you, Randy! ---- JOHNNY: out the van window Freedom! HURLEY: laughing Dude, what are you doing? JOHNNY: Freedom! So, anything else you want to do tonight -- you better let me know now -- because our day off is just about over, Huggy Bear. In about 10 hours we going to have to find ourselves some new employment. I hear Pizza Bin is hiring, or we could try our luck at, ah, Gyro-Rama. But I do kind of dig the chick who works at the Bin. HURLEY: Dude, promise me something. JOHNNY: Okay, what? HURLEY: Promise me that no matter what happens, we'll never change -- this will never change. JOHNNY: Okay. Oh, I know what this is about. I know why you've been acting so weird lately. You're getting that, uh, that, uh, stomach stapling surgery thing, aren't you? HURLEY: I'm not getting surgery. JOHNNY: Awe, c'mon man, it's cool. I mean, I could still be all surprised and be like, ooh, my, Hurley, wow, is that you? HURLEY: Listen, Johnny, I'm serious. Promise me that you and I will always stay the same. JOHNNY: I'll do you one better. Not only will I stay gold, Ponyboy, I will drink to it. looks in his empty wallet. Can I borrow 2 bucks? ---- - Hurley in the food storage room, placing a fuse in the dynamite. Rose enters. ROSE: What have you got there, Hurley? HURLEY: Uh, it's dynamite. ROSE: Dynamite? Well, what are you doing with it? HURLEY: I'm sorry, but I can't let it happen again. ---- - Hurley and Johnny pulling into a gas station. There's a news crew interviewing the sales clerk. JOHNNY: Why is there a news crew here? HURLEY: Dude, we shouldn't go here. Dude, let's go, they jack the prices here. JOHNNY: out of the van Maybe somebody got shot. looks at his lotto ticket. ---- - Rose and Hurley in the storage room. ROSE: Why are you doing this, honey? HURLEY: Look, just get out of here, Rose. ROSE: But you're going to hurt somebody. HURLEY: Not if I do it from outside the door. It's thick, and I'll make sure there's nobody around first. So, please, will you just go? ROSE: Uh-uh, you hauled me off of the beach and you dragged me into this place -- the least I can get is an explanation before you blow it up! HURLEY: You don't get it! This is going to mess it all up! ---- - Hurley looking at his lotto ticket in the van. JOHNNY: Dude, somebody won the lottery! ---- - Hurley and Rose in the storage room. HURLEY: Let me tell you something, Rose! We were all fine before we had any pulls chips off the shelf potato chips! But now we've got these potato chips and everybody's going to want them! So Steve gets them, and Charlie's pissed -- but he's not pissed at Steve, he's pissed at me! ---- - The gas station clerk pointing at Hurley in the van. GAS STATION CLERK: That's the guy! That's the guy! stares at Hurley, looking hurt/surprised. A brief shot of Hurley and Rose, then shots from the gas station shown during the following lines. HURLEY: And I'm going to be in the middle of it! And then it's going to be: well, what about us -- why didn't I get any potato chips? C'mon, help us out, Hurley. Why did you give Kate the shampoo? And why didn't I get the peanut butter? Then, they'll get really mad and start asking: why does Hugo have everything -- why should he get to decide? intercuts between the gas station and storage room. Then they'll all hate me. I don't know what to do. Act 6 and Jack on the beach. HURLEY: Come on, Jack. The inventory's done, this is the only way. JACK: Are you serious? HURLEY: Dude, there's enough food in there to feed one guy, 3 meals a day for another 3 months. We have 40 people, it's just not going to work. You put me in charge, this is what we're doing. JACK: nodding Okay. HURLEY: Okay? JACK: Yeah, okay. HURLEY: himself - relieved Okay. of Hurley giving peanut butter to Charlie and passing out food; Locke sharing a tin; Shannon sharing with Vincent; Kate and Jack laughing and eating; baby smiling and Charlie giving the peanut butter to Claire; people patting Hurley on the back; Charlie and Hurley hugging; Sun burying the bottle of messages. ---- Sawyer, Michael; others talking in the background. The man who opened the door approaches Jin, Sawyer and Michael. BERNARD: Um, excuse me. Hi. Back where you guys, uh, where you came from -- is there a woman named Rose there? SAWYER: Black chick in her 50's? BERNARD: nodding Is she, is she okay? MICHAEL: Yeah, man, she's okay. BERNARD: Oh, oh. MICHAEL: Michael, I'm Michael. BERNARD: Thank you, Michael. I'm, I'm Bernard. MICHAEL: Okay, it's okay. She's good. ---- of Rose putting an Apollo bar in her pocket, holding Bernard's ring and smiling. Category:Season 2